I just gave up on my comics blog for now. It will get its archive in its time.
Not much has been happening. I may actually have a job delivering flowers, at least for Valentine's day. So that's a good thing. Maybe it will usher in a better time for me to come. Its been about 2 and a half months since I had a job. I went through something like this a little over a year ago. I quit teaching after 3 days in the classroon after being overwhelmed by the job. It was mainly the fact that I was nervous and insecure in front of the students. I was teaching a ninth grade science class. Science has always been one of my passions and therefore it was my major in college. Okay, I am getting ahead of myself. Lets slow down and start back at the beginning.
My first job was working in the seafood section of Piggly Wiggly. All through college I held that job, moving from part time to full time. I was actually seafood manager for about 2 weeks before I got the big call. An automotive parts manufacturer had decided to hire me. Being about 2 months out of college I jumped at it. My pay doubled by the hour and even tripled due to 7 day work weeks. I was overwhelmed. So after 6 years at Piggly Wiggly, I would work 6 years at Textron. And it would go from bad to worse.
I actually liked the job for a while. For the first 3 years I really had fun. It was challenging and constant work with incredible pay. However, burnout from 80 hour weeks began to take their toll. Fortunately, I was transferred to a newer part of the plant working in injection molding of plastic composites. It was a breath of fresh air, for a while. That would all change when I began to fall into the wrong crowd and let my guard down. I had never had a girlfriend or really been out on a date, outside of prom. I guess I never really thought about why, I just never had the inclination. But that would change when I had my first big crush.
She was beautiful and magnificent. She completely overwhelmed my senses and I thought I was in love. Unfortunately, there were other, unfortunate circumstances that I cannot go into here, because its not my place to. To make a long story short, I ran myself ragged and gave too much of myself, both emotionally and financially. I didn't learn my lesson after the first time either. Even when that was through, I would make the same mistake several more times in much the same circumstances. After finally getting it through my skull that I was making the same mistakes and seeing through my emotional blinders, I freed myself and became the person I remembered. So after 6 years of Textron, I learned of the Teach for Georgia program.
So here we are, finally free of texron and my past. I go into a 4 week program to initiate new people into teaching. And its a good program, Teach for Georgia, but I found out I wasn't cut out for it. You see, I have a phobia about being up in front of crowds. So why did I pick teaching. Well, I wanted a change and I thought that being in front of kids would be different. But it wasn't. I had wanted to teach middle school, whcich is basically 6th-8th grades. As it would turn out, I could only find an opening at the high school teaching 9th grade, my purgatory. After a week of pre-planning, I was very hyper about teaching. I was happy. My Mom and Dad were happy. I had a day job. I had the weekends off. Then it all fell apart.
I had the room all prepared. We had bought posters and all kinds of things for the room. I had cleaned it up and got it just how I wanted it. Then after the first day of class, I felt the world slipping away. I knew that with the level of fear and tension of being in front of the class, that I couldn't do it. As I looked in to their eyes, I could see that the kids knew I was a phony. I had no right to be up there. They could see the fear in me. I sweated profusely and felt more uncomfortable each day. Finally after the third day, I broke down at home and finally told my parents I just couldn't do it. Here was a grown man of 29 admitting that he was afraid of 15 year olds. They heloed me get my composure and I made the necessary phone calls. With a full eight days of what was to be my new career, it ended in a heartbeat.
I would not find another job for 4 months. But that was not my primary focus after a very screwed up day in October. My Mom was told she had cancer of the liver. It was not real to any of us. It wasn't fair to her. She had so much pain in her life, only to be handed this shitty, awful thing. Even after the diagnosis, we thought there was hope. There was a new medicine, but because her liver was damaged, the treatment couldn't be absorbed. Two weeks after I finally found a job checking termite stations for a pest control company, my Mother passed away. It has been over a year since that day, and it still doesn't seem real. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. There will never be another sooul as sweet or as good as hers. I know she is in a better place. I still believe in something after this life. I believe in a higher being, but thats about it. I miss her so much. And I always will, until our family is back together again.
I lost myself in my work for the first 6 months of the following year. AFter a while, I began to hate my job. I always did, but I guess it just started to accumulate and buikd upon itself. I started getting sloppy and eventually my employer discopvered that I had been untruthful on my reports and I was let go. I was offered the chance to just quit and have my record still look good. And thats what I did. I worked there for just under a year. And here it is a little over two months later as I write this. I hope I haven't bored you. That wasn't my intent. I just wanted to tell you a little about myself, and this was the only way I could think of. I hope to talk with you again soon. And thank you for listening.
Not much has been happening. I may actually have a job delivering flowers, at least for Valentine's day. So that's a good thing. Maybe it will usher in a better time for me to come. Its been about 2 and a half months since I had a job. I went through something like this a little over a year ago. I quit teaching after 3 days in the classroon after being overwhelmed by the job. It was mainly the fact that I was nervous and insecure in front of the students. I was teaching a ninth grade science class. Science has always been one of my passions and therefore it was my major in college. Okay, I am getting ahead of myself. Lets slow down and start back at the beginning.
My first job was working in the seafood section of Piggly Wiggly. All through college I held that job, moving from part time to full time. I was actually seafood manager for about 2 weeks before I got the big call. An automotive parts manufacturer had decided to hire me. Being about 2 months out of college I jumped at it. My pay doubled by the hour and even tripled due to 7 day work weeks. I was overwhelmed. So after 6 years at Piggly Wiggly, I would work 6 years at Textron. And it would go from bad to worse.
I actually liked the job for a while. For the first 3 years I really had fun. It was challenging and constant work with incredible pay. However, burnout from 80 hour weeks began to take their toll. Fortunately, I was transferred to a newer part of the plant working in injection molding of plastic composites. It was a breath of fresh air, for a while. That would all change when I began to fall into the wrong crowd and let my guard down. I had never had a girlfriend or really been out on a date, outside of prom. I guess I never really thought about why, I just never had the inclination. But that would change when I had my first big crush.
She was beautiful and magnificent. She completely overwhelmed my senses and I thought I was in love. Unfortunately, there were other, unfortunate circumstances that I cannot go into here, because its not my place to. To make a long story short, I ran myself ragged and gave too much of myself, both emotionally and financially. I didn't learn my lesson after the first time either. Even when that was through, I would make the same mistake several more times in much the same circumstances. After finally getting it through my skull that I was making the same mistakes and seeing through my emotional blinders, I freed myself and became the person I remembered. So after 6 years of Textron, I learned of the Teach for Georgia program.
So here we are, finally free of texron and my past. I go into a 4 week program to initiate new people into teaching. And its a good program, Teach for Georgia, but I found out I wasn't cut out for it. You see, I have a phobia about being up in front of crowds. So why did I pick teaching. Well, I wanted a change and I thought that being in front of kids would be different. But it wasn't. I had wanted to teach middle school, whcich is basically 6th-8th grades. As it would turn out, I could only find an opening at the high school teaching 9th grade, my purgatory. After a week of pre-planning, I was very hyper about teaching. I was happy. My Mom and Dad were happy. I had a day job. I had the weekends off. Then it all fell apart.
I had the room all prepared. We had bought posters and all kinds of things for the room. I had cleaned it up and got it just how I wanted it. Then after the first day of class, I felt the world slipping away. I knew that with the level of fear and tension of being in front of the class, that I couldn't do it. As I looked in to their eyes, I could see that the kids knew I was a phony. I had no right to be up there. They could see the fear in me. I sweated profusely and felt more uncomfortable each day. Finally after the third day, I broke down at home and finally told my parents I just couldn't do it. Here was a grown man of 29 admitting that he was afraid of 15 year olds. They heloed me get my composure and I made the necessary phone calls. With a full eight days of what was to be my new career, it ended in a heartbeat.
I would not find another job for 4 months. But that was not my primary focus after a very screwed up day in October. My Mom was told she had cancer of the liver. It was not real to any of us. It wasn't fair to her. She had so much pain in her life, only to be handed this shitty, awful thing. Even after the diagnosis, we thought there was hope. There was a new medicine, but because her liver was damaged, the treatment couldn't be absorbed. Two weeks after I finally found a job checking termite stations for a pest control company, my Mother passed away. It has been over a year since that day, and it still doesn't seem real. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. There will never be another sooul as sweet or as good as hers. I know she is in a better place. I still believe in something after this life. I believe in a higher being, but thats about it. I miss her so much. And I always will, until our family is back together again.
I lost myself in my work for the first 6 months of the following year. AFter a while, I began to hate my job. I always did, but I guess it just started to accumulate and buikd upon itself. I started getting sloppy and eventually my employer discopvered that I had been untruthful on my reports and I was let go. I was offered the chance to just quit and have my record still look good. And thats what I did. I worked there for just under a year. And here it is a little over two months later as I write this. I hope I haven't bored you. That wasn't my intent. I just wanted to tell you a little about myself, and this was the only way I could think of. I hope to talk with you again soon. And thank you for listening.
posted by Matt @ 11:24 PM
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